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March 12, 2010

Ed and Karen Miller — A Love Story

By MARY THACKER CNHI The Zope Gazette Fri Mar 12, 2010, 02:22 PM CST

ROCKWALL — For Ed and Karen, it was love at first sight. The only problem was that they were on a double-date, and they weren’t paired with one another.

That didn’t stop them from having a great time talking and laughing. After their initial meeting, they became inseparable. Six months later when Karen had to leave for college, she and Ed knew that they couldn’t bear to be apart, so he enrolled as well. He had already seen a lot of the world, having served in the army during the Korean War, so when he gave Karen a promise ring, he wanted to be clear about his intentions. “We’re not just going steady,” he said. “I want you to be my wife.”

They had a long engagement during which they decided that college wasn’t for them. Karen and Ed returned to Chicago where they joined her father’s business until her dad decided that he was tired of cold Chicago winters and sold the company. He advised the newlyweds to relocate to California where he used his connections to find them jobs at Pacific Bell Telephone Company.

Ed and Karen lived in Los Angeles for forty-five happy years, raising their children Susan and Scott. Karen was a stay-at-home mom who pinched pennies on a tight budget. “I had one of those plastic clickers that I would take to the grocery store with me to keep track of what I was spending,” she remembered. “My family had been fairly well off, so I was used to luxuries. But I was happy.”

Ed retired after 35 years at Pacific Bell before their first grandchild was born. They moved to Rockwall seven years ago to help their daughter raise her three boys. They were still in the process of settling into their new community when a lump was discovered in Karen’s left breast during a routine exam. Her physician told her he could almost guarantee that she would live to see her grandkids graduate from college if she had a mastectomy. After the surgery, she underwent a course of chemotherapy, relying on wigs and make-up to bolster her when she wasn’t feeling well.   “Ed was by my side every step of the way,” Karen fondly recalled.

     This wasn’t their first experience with cancer. For fifteen years, Ed had been in remission from prostate cancer. His PSA levels were closely monitored, and when his levels began to rise in 2008, he was referred to an oncologist. Once his CT scans showed evidence of tumors, his doctor prescribed chemotherapy. He seemed to be doing well until he drove into a parked car in April of last year. At first Ed’s doctors assumed that he had suffered a stroke, causing the accident, but an MRI exposed a brain tumor. After surgery to remove the malignancy, Ed’s health stabilized. However, a subsequent MRI revealed five more tumors which were also removed. A second round of chemo was prescribed, during which Ed developed severe back pain. Radiation treatments that were supposed to help control the back pain damaged his esophagus and destroyed healthy blood cells. Two transfusions did nothing to improve Ed’s fatigue, and it became hard for him to breathe. The day after Christmas, Ed became so weak that Karen took him to the emergency room. They assumed they had more time. There were new chemotherapy treatments they were planning to try once he regained his strength. But just before New Year’s, Ed asked Karen to take him home where he passed away on January 2. “Ed had always prayed that he would outlive me, so he could take care of me. I prayed that God would keep me healthy, so I could see him through his illness. We were inseparable—best buddies. We just enjoyed being together. Our dream evening was sitting in our side-by-side Lazy Boys with our dogs on our laps, holding hands,” Karen said as she twisted Ed’s wedding ring which she now wears on her ring finger. Their dogs, Wendy and Boots still search the house, hoping to find Ed waiting for them.

Ed and Karen faced cancer together, joined hand-in-hand. They chose to embrace life and each other.   Although Ed is no longer physically here with Karen, he lives on in her heart and in the hearts of those who loved him.

*Relay For Life is the signature fundraising event for the American Cancer Society. It will be held in Rockwall County on April 30-May 1, 2010 at Cain Middle School. For more information on how you can help in the fight again cancer, contact Carla Brooks at 972-771-8139 or relayforliferockwallcounty@gmail.com.

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